talk to the hand...
i'm in no mood of talking to anyone today as i have received the most terrible of all banes... guess WHAT?! ... i got an 81% in classical mechanics... and all of this pain, agony, and torment i owe but to only one person... wait a minute... she's not even human after all... maybe i should stop referring to her as a she but an IT instead...
she is nonetheless but ma'am de jesus...
ahhh... that thing's last name doesn't suit her either... it would be better if it be changed it to ma'am de MONYO... that would sound sweeter to my ears... though the meer though of her brings to mind that stupidly looking bespectacled face... looking like a battered wife on its sixties... with bread crumbs scattered all over that thing's despicable dress... as she would always be munching and chewing and gnawing on just about absolutely anything while having her monologue in class...
ahhh... purgatory is probably not enough for her... forgive me pope... but this woman... errr... thing has driven me to the extremes... my bloodthirsty and war mongering side has already overtaken my peaceful self...
the next time i see that lady...... thing i shall we burn her perhaps... hang her upside down for a few years... or shall I employ the guillotine (sa mga hinde nakaka-alam kung ano ito eh ito po ang garote)... you the jury shall decide her faith... errr... that thing's fate... now let us start the trial...
Court Scenario:
Eman: I'm Eman, the prosecutor.
Imaginary Guy: I'm the LawyerPierre.
Eman: Members of the court, we now bring forth the defendant, ma'am de Monyo, who is charged of very stupidly and irrationally giving grades to her students...
exits and brings the defendant in...
Eman: What shall we do with him? Fire, perhaps? Hang him upside down for a few years? Or... shall we employ the guillotine? You, the jury, shall decide his fate. Now, let us begin...
Judge Puno: de Monyo... you are hereby ordered to tell the truth and nothing but the truth...
Pierre: de Monyo is charged with Premeditated Giving of Very Irrational Grades. The question is, did she/it did it? The answer? No, he it did not. In fact, no irrationality took palce! Everything was completely by accident. In fact, the students ASKED de Monyo if SHE/IT could give them LOW GRADES!
Eman: Is this true? Who actually started this whole mess?
de Monyo: I did!
Eman: Just as i suspected, the defendant deliberately gave those very low and irrational marks to those students... the students just though that you were just bluffing brought about by your stupidity and ugliness... if that wasn't Criminal Irrational Grading... I don't know WHAT it is... and i have FACTS that throw the defendant's character into question!
Pierre: Objection! This can't have any relevance whatsoever to this case!
Judge Puno: Care to respond Eman…
Eman: de Monyo’s character is at the very core of this case…
Pierre: We have nothing to hide. The issue here is MOTIVE. Was there any motive for this stupid citizen to give such very irrational grades? No! There was none.
Eman: None sense! Let me call upon my first witness… Jomar…
Eman: Did this thing, de Monyo you call it is it, gave such very irrational grades?
Jomar: Yes it did… in fact I was always present in her class and is active always…
Pierre: LIAR! Your honor this man is a perennial LIAR! All he speaks are utterly nonsense…
Judge Puno: Does the prosecution has any other witness?
Eman: Yes we do have… I call on Mitch Palma…
Mitch Enters…
Mitch: I’m a victim of the injustice of the grades that that THING gave to us… I believe that she has grudges on most of us… especially those who seldomly come in her class… in my case… it just happened that I came late to her class and then she just started throwing irrational accusations on me… kesyo that I intentionally did not come in her class in reprisal to her not coming to class… everything just happened coincidentally…
Pierre:
Eman facing de MONYO…
Eman: What about vengeance? De MONYO, thirst for retribution DID tempt you, did it not?
De Monyo: YES… err I mean no…
Eman: Are you sure?
De Monyo: ahhh… ehhh… kasi naman eh…
Eman: That's enough. I have no more questions.
Pierre: It is evident that my client is an evil… errr… fine woman… errr… thing! You honor, the defense rests.
Judge: Members of the jury... If he is guilty, say ‘mamatay na siya.’ If innocent, ‘saksakin pa rin.’
Jury1 (Rafael): MAMATAY NA SIYA!
Jury2 (Jomar): MAMATAY NA SIYA!
Jury3 (Marvin): MAMATAY NA SIYA!
Jury4 (Jenny): SAKSAKIN PA RIN!
Jury5 (Arlene): MAMATAY NA SIYA!
there is a commotion in the court room...
Judge: Order in the court! A verdict has been reached! The verdict is... GUILTY!
Eman: Take that PUTRID thing away!
Soldiers come in to take de MONYO away…
Eman: Iligpit na iyan…
and that's the end of my vivid imagination... bahala na kayong magparusa sa bruhilda na iyan...
she is nonetheless but ma'am de jesus...
ahhh... that thing's last name doesn't suit her either... it would be better if it be changed it to ma'am de MONYO... that would sound sweeter to my ears... though the meer though of her brings to mind that stupidly looking bespectacled face... looking like a battered wife on its sixties... with bread crumbs scattered all over that thing's despicable dress... as she would always be munching and chewing and gnawing on just about absolutely anything while having her monologue in class...
ahhh... purgatory is probably not enough for her... forgive me pope... but this woman... errr... thing has driven me to the extremes... my bloodthirsty and war mongering side has already overtaken my peaceful self...
the next time i see that lady...
Court Scenario:
Eman: I'm Eman, the prosecutor.
Imaginary Guy: I'm the Lawyer
Eman: Members of the court, we now bring forth the defendant, ma'am de Monyo, who is charged of very stupidly and irrationally giving grades to her students...
exits and brings the defendant in...
Eman: What shall we do with him? Fire, perhaps? Hang him upside down for a few years? Or... shall we employ the guillotine? You, the jury, shall decide his fate. Now, let us begin...
Judge Puno: de Monyo... you are hereby ordered to tell the truth and nothing but the truth...
Pierre: de Monyo is charged with Premeditated Giving of Very Irrational Grades. The question is, did she/it did it? The answer? No, he it did not. In fact, no irrationality took palce! Everything was completely by accident. In fact, the students ASKED de Monyo if SHE/IT could give them LOW GRADES!
Eman: Is this true? Who actually started this whole mess?
de Monyo: I did!
Eman: Just as i suspected, the defendant deliberately gave those very low and irrational marks to those students... the students just though that you were just bluffing brought about by your stupidity and ugliness... if that wasn't Criminal Irrational Grading... I don't know WHAT it is... and i have FACTS that throw the defendant's character into question!
Pierre: Objection! This can't have any relevance whatsoever to this case!
Judge Puno: Care to respond Eman…
Eman: de Monyo’s character is at the very core of this case…
Pierre: We have nothing to hide. The issue here is MOTIVE. Was there any motive for this stupid citizen to give such very irrational grades? No! There was none.
Eman: None sense! Let me call upon my first witness… Jomar…
Jomar enters the court…
Eman: Did this thing, de Monyo you call it is it, gave such very irrational grades?
Jomar: Yes it did… in fact I was always present in her class and is active always…
Pierre: LIAR! Your honor this man is a perennial LIAR! All he speaks are utterly nonsense…
Judge Puno: Does the prosecution has any other witness?
Eman: Yes we do have… I call on Mitch Palma…
Mitch Enters…
Mitch: I’m a victim of the injustice of the grades that that THING gave to us… I believe that she has grudges on most of us… especially those who seldomly come in her class… in my case… it just happened that I came late to her class and then she just started throwing irrational accusations on me… kesyo that I intentionally did not come in her class in reprisal to her not coming to class… everything just happened coincidentally…
Pierre:
Eman facing de MONYO…
Eman: What about vengeance? De MONYO, thirst for retribution DID tempt you, did it not?
De Monyo: YES
Eman: Are you sure?
De Monyo: ahhh… ehhh… kasi naman eh…
Eman: That's enough. I have no more questions.
Pierre: It is evident that my client is an evil… errr… fine woman… errr… thing! You honor, the defense rests.
Judge: Members of the jury... If he is guilty, say ‘mamatay na siya.’ If innocent, ‘saksakin pa rin.’
Jury1 (Rafael): MAMATAY NA SIYA!
Jury2 (Jomar): MAMATAY NA SIYA!
Jury3 (Marvin): MAMATAY NA SIYA!
Jury4 (Jenny): SAKSAKIN PA RIN!
Jury5 (Arlene): MAMATAY NA SIYA!
there is a commotion in the court room...
Judge: Order in the court! A verdict has been reached! The verdict is... GUILTY!
Eman: Take that PUTRID thing away!
Soldiers come in to take de MONYO away…
Eman: Iligpit na iyan…
and that's the end of my vivid imagination... bahala na kayong magparusa sa bruhilda na iyan...